Thursday, March 31, 2011

Funny quotes from classical pianists

"Mozart died too late rather than too soon."



"If the critics want me to play the moderns, wait till they hear the Khachaturian again. I'll make each dissonance groan, that's what I'll do! They'll leave the hall in the middle of the first cadenza."



"The sonatas of Mozart are unique; they are too easy for children, and too difficult for artists."



"The Liszt rhaposdies must be protected, firstly, against musicians of the 'serious' breed who look down on them as showpieces, and secondly, against the piano maniacs who abuse them as showpieces."



"If you think I'm something, wait 'til you hear Richter!"



"There are three kinds of pianists - Jewish pianists, homosexual pianists, and bad pianists."

Monday, March 28, 2011

Funny quotes from Sir Thomas Beecham, English conductor

 Sir Thomas Beecham, (29 April 1879 – 8 March 1961), English conductor,



“There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.”



“The sound of a harpsichord is like two skeletons copulating on a hot tin roof.”



"Brass bands are very well in their place outdoors and several miles away"



"Beethoven's last quartets are written by a dead man and should only be listened by a dead man."



“A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.”



“It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.”



"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands - and all you can do is scratch it"
Ps. Sir Thomas Beecham talked to female cellist.



“If an opera cannot be played by an organ grinder, it's not going to achieve immortality.”



“Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.”



“If I were a dictator I should make it compulsory for every member of the population between the ages of four and eighty to listen to Mozart for at least a quarter of an hour daily for the coming five years.”


Although his words so sarcastic but his music could not be ignored. Try his records below. Enjoy!






Friday, March 25, 2011

Funny VDO : Victor Borge "Page-turner"

Victor Borge asked someone to be page tuner for him. It's very funny VDO, hope you enjoy laughing. ;D




Thursday, March 24, 2011

Funny quotes from classical music composer

“Brahms' Variations are better than mine, but mine were written before his.” 
By Franz Liszt


“That will make the ladies scream.” 
By Joseph Haydn talked about his surprise symphony no94.



“Give me a laundry-list and I'll set it to music.” 
By Gioachino Rossini



"I may not be a first-rate composer, but I am a first-class second-rate composer." 
By Richard Strauss



"There is one god -- Bach -- and Mendelssohn is his prophet" 
By Hector Berlioz



"Though I had some instruction from Haydn, I never learned anything from him." 

By Ludwig van Beethoven, quoted in Marion M Scott, Beethoven, 1934



 
"I cannot conceive of music that expresses absolutely nothing." 
By Bela Bartok




"What a masterpiece, but what despair! It's enough to make you long for death." 

By Georges Bizet (speaking of Schumann's Manfred); quoted in Dean, Bizet (1975)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Funny quotes about classical music

“Bach almost persuades me to be a Christian.”
by Roger Fry, quoted in Virginia Woolf, Roger Fry (1940)



“Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass?”
by Michael Torke



“I have been told that Wagner's music is better than it sounds.”
by Mark Twain



“The public doesn't want new music: the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead.”
by Arthur Honegger


"I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws."
by Charles Baudelaire, French poet.



"Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost."
by Harold C. Schonberg



"I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand."
by Sir Edward Appleton, English physicist



Monday, March 21, 2011

Funny quotes from classical music musician(2)

"His music used to be original. Now it's aboriginal."
By Sir Ernest Newman, English music critic and musicologist, talked about Igor Stravinsky.



"My music is best understood by children and animals."
By Igor Stravinsky, Russian composer



"The three "B's" of Organ Music are, Bach, Beethoven and SowerB"
By Leo Sowerby, American composer and church musician.



"Study Bach, there you will find everything."
By Johannes Brahms, composer and pianist



"I am sure my music has a taste of codfish in it."
By Edvard Grieg



“I am not handsome, but when women hear me play, they come crawling to my feet.”
By Niccolo Paganini

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Funny quotes from classical music musician(1)

"When I tell Berliners to step forward,they step forward,when I tell Wieners to step forward,they step forward but then ask why?"
By Herbert von Karajan, talking about his reason to preferred to conduct Berlin Phil rather than Vienna Phil.


“I know two kinds of audiences only - one coughing, and one not coughing.”
By Artur Schnabel, Austrian pianist.



“Can't you read? The score demands "con amore," and what are you doing? You are playing it like married men!”
By Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor.



"If anyone has conducted a Beethoven performance, and then doesn't have to go to an osteopath, then there's something wrong."
By Simon Rattle, English conductor


"You need three or five hands to play Ligeti. "
By Alfred Brendel, Austrian pianist



"People who make music together cannot be enemies, at least while the music lasts."
By Paul Hindemith, German composer and violinist

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Funny VDO : Piano Dancing

Piano dancing
Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 on the F.A.O. Schwarz Piano in NYC.